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caѕѕιan jaron andor ([personal profile] ouzel) wrote2016-12-16 10:01 am

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[personal profile] neutralist 2017-01-01 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
[ It takes Galen a moment to even process what better should be, mind only slowly coming back to concerns like food or caffeine from its calculations in the trenches; he's been entering schematic information into a program that will give the Alliance likely outcomes for detonating the reactor module. One single-piloted craft, in and out; a single delay and that ship will probably go up with the Death Star, but--he hadn't laid an easy trap, he knows that.

So. Better. Better could certainly be said for not bleeding out in the rain back down on Eadu. He almost smiles, a tipping corner of that down-turned mouth; in resting position Jyn's does the same. His daughter, after 15 years, is only barely more a known quantity than Captain Andor himself, but the glances that almost, almost past between them and don't quite catch...he imagines he would recognize those, if Lyra had ever been anything but direct, precise as a laser.

Speaking of direct. He's discovering some of that is still left to him, as long as he'd obfuscated and equivocated and delayed--
]

And when I outlive my usefulness? Will I be worse then?

[ A mild inquiry, not accusatory or even really directed at Cassian. The young man just seems like he might be high enough on the chain of command to know, and truthfully--Galen doesn't have any expectations of a long life here. The only mercy he'll ask for is time with Jyn, just long enough for her to know--he'd loved her, never any less any second they were apart. That of all the terrible mistakes he's made he would make them all over again to know any of them had kept her safe.

But none of that is, he suspects, up to Cassian. Galen finally notices the provisions he's brought along and takes the coffee, at least, blows on it before poking around for whatever passes for a nice watery milk substitute, if one is to be had.
]
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[personal profile] neutralist 2017-01-08 09:00 am (UTC)(link)
The gesture is appreciated, small as it is--maybe that's why, actually, so small a concession between two people. His life has been for so long directed by work on a grand, apocalyptic scale little kindnesses loom large. "Thank you." A little tip of his head, the gesture reserved. "I've never been able to make myself like the taste."

This is as much because he needs a moment as anything, hands steady in shuffling around coffee additives. "She must have made quite an impression, if you care for her so quickly."

He's pretty sure, because it seems sensible, Cassian could have the kindest heart of all life everywhere, and even he would think twice about simply allowing the Known Imperial Collaborator, the one whose work was the heart of the Death Star, to go free without consequence. But to let Jyn go, to have the compassion not to leave her alone again ...that, yes. He can understand.
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[personal profile] neutralist 2017-01-09 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
Galen wants to be able to speak to how big an If that might be, but--as he opens his mouth he realizes he has no idea. If she's like him, who had wanted, at the end of the day, to simply be left alone to sink with both hands into his work, the idea that the universe could be a better place, or like her mother, who never stopped fighting. Or like Saw, or nothing like any of them. Herself, built from the pieces of what those who abandoned her left behind.

It pains him to think that he's one of those people, but no matter how little he had wanted to leave her, he is. Now he has the chance to make up for that, so it's that that is the If. If Jyn wants, he'll try. He'll spend the rest of his life trying.

So. "She does," he says, echoes simply, without qualifiers it doesn't need. "Whether with me or not, that is for her to say." He stirs his coffee, which...is a sort of blackly funny irony, that of course, yes, even on the remote little outpost that was Eadu, the Empire could afford the best, and yet, this terrible stuff tastes better than anything he'd had in their employ.
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[personal profile] neutralist 2017-01-16 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Galen really can't pretend she hasn't been, even if it's not what he wanted. Even if he would make excuses to spare himself. "Her mother was meant to be with her," he explains regardless, perhaps wanting this stranger to think better of Lyra, rather than himself. "She tried to stop the Imperials taking me."

Sooooo Cassian can probably make a swell guess how that turned out. Meanwhile Galen's heart has twisted up all warm in his ribcage; that she should feel anything, after so long--even if she had hated him it would still be feeling.
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[personal profile] neutralist 2017-01-21 09:03 pm (UTC)(link)
"I won't leave her again." It's not a protest, just ...fact. There is no air in space, Galen will stay by Jyn's side as long as she'll have him, provided she'll have him at all. He doesn't react much to the tension; if it comes from a place of judgment that's well-deserved; if not, it isn't any of his business to do the judging.

There's a moment of silence, though it lacks awkwardness, only an air of contemplation as Galen ponders the oily surface of his coffee. "If she decides her place is here now, it--would be fitting. It would have made Lyra happy."