"Yeah," and he goes quiet for a little while, considering the last time they did talk about it. Lacing his fingers in hers and letting himself breathe for a moment. "Well. It's more like a timeline."
"A timeline." That doesn't really make sense to Jyn and her voice pitches up at the end of the word in question. The fingers of her free hand comb idly through the bubbles, still entranced by the feel of them against her skin. Today has been an adventure of new things and while she hasn't exactly taken the time to savor them, she's doing so now, reveling in the feel of herself pressed against Cassian's bare, slick skin, heartbeat stuttering to frantic life at the memory of his hands on her, inside her. It makes her knees feel like jelly and she is glad that she's sitting down already. A memory is making her feel like she's on fire, why did she wait so long to... no use beating herself up about it now.
His arm settles somewhere around her waist and while he knows the water and his physiology are going to make sitting so close an interesting sort of thing, he doesn't want her to move away at all. Selfish, certainly, but he thinks they deserve selfish things shared by one another.
When he saw her in that shower he'd never have imagined the day would play out like this. His other arm drapes along the edge of the bathtub, finger tracing light patterns against her skin.
"Like this: will they marry, will it be here, will it be by Mon Mothma, will Draven be there? Will it be on the beach, I told Matine that one needs to go, will they continue to be a unit, will I take the promotion, will you officially join, will we both leave instead. It's...like a tree, or a web, all these branching parts. Very complex."
It may be very complex, but Jyn takes that as a challenge and decides to answer all the questions and considerations and so she is silent for a while, thinking about her answers before she blurts them all out.
"Yes, maybe, probably not, if you'd like, no, always, you should, not likely, no."
Yes, they will marry, eventually she thinks, hopes. Maybe it will be here, she doesn't think it's likely they'll go anywhere else and she's grown fond of this place. She respects Mon Mothma, but she feels no particular ties to her involvement. General Draven can suck her dick, but she knows he means a lot to Cassian and she will not make that decision for him. Fuck the beach. They will always be a unit, a team, partners. She thinks Cassian deserves a promotion, though she likely won't stop calling him Captain. The rebellion is important to her but she doesn't feel like she needs to have rank to have a stake in the fight.
No, she doesn't think they'll both leave, they've lost too much already.
Her head tips back to look at him. "Did I get them all?"
There's a chuckle at her sudden elimination of prospective futures with a yes, no, maybe scale; Cassian reaches for her hand and tangles their fingers together, squeezing briefly before shifting forward and kissing her shoulder.
"I don't think I want a promotion but I also don't think I have a lot of say in the matter. You won't join?" He's curious about that, a little. "But you'll fight. That I knew." He smiles at her.
"You got them all. Do you want to get married here?"
"I don't have an opinion one way or another. I like it here, but." But she doesn't care, that's not the important part to her. "It's up to you."
As for the rebellion. "I don't trust things. I believe in the rebellion, but I don't believe in the Alliance and I can't be part of some of the things they do." Some of the things they made him do, tried to make him do. "I'll fight," she agrees, and she will follow him anywhere. But she won't be a passive member of someone else's resistance.
"It's not the sort of thing I ever expected to be doing." So. He'll have to think about it, he guesses, or at least until he throws up his hands and goes with what is convenient.
"Okay." He wonders what that means for him. For this promotion they keep pushing at him.
"You should take that promotion." She wants him to know she's serious about that. "They need people in power that are brave and kind and good. You lead by example. We're the only ones left." Of their impromptu rogue squadron. "You need to remind them to fight with their conscience."
Which is perhaps odd considering what his job used to be, but she remembers why all those men teamed up with the rest of their ragtag crew and she doesn't want that to get lost. They deserve to fight for themselves as much as they fight for the rebellion.
"Yeah? How long until I become just like the people who ordered me, who turned a blind eye to what I'd done? You can justify a lot with war." Granted, it's not him saying no, just voicing his concerns. To that point: "You gonna help keep me honest?"
She slips forward so she can twist around in the bath and kneel in front of him. "Me and Bodhi." Perhaps not the best topic to bring up, their dead friend, especially considering their current and very naked position. But in for a penny, in for a pound. "Be brave and listen to your heart."
He pushes a hand through his hair, the damp heat making it curl even tighter than normal. She has a good viewpoint of watching his face as Bodhi's name brings him to a strange place of emotional turmoil, heightened really by the fact that they're naked and sharing a moment. "I'm not as brave as either of you."
"I'm not brave," Jyn says with a bark of laughter, shaking her head, pulling herself forward and effectively drape across him. "I can be, with you, but not on my own."
"Can't be one without the other?" She can't be brave on her own, her breakdown in the shower earlier -- over Bodhi -- proved that. She'd certainly been brave in bed with Cassian earlier.
Her courage is in people, that makes sense to her.
"Alright," she agrees, resting her cheek against his chest. She promptly slips down his slippery chest when she shifts a little bit, pulling a laugh free. It makes her sit up, bracing her hands against his sides.
"This is more difficult that I'd thought." But she is happy in his arms and she is willing to rise to the challenge, if only to keep herself warm in his arms.
At least until the water runs cold, but they have plenty of time until that happens.
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"What sort of timeline?"
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When he saw her in that shower he'd never have imagined the day would play out like this. His other arm drapes along the edge of the bathtub, finger tracing light patterns against her skin.
"Like this: will they marry, will it be here, will it be by Mon Mothma, will Draven be there? Will it be on the beach, I told Matine that one needs to go, will they continue to be a unit, will I take the promotion, will you officially join, will we both leave instead. It's...like a tree, or a web, all these branching parts. Very complex."
Kay would love it.
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"Yes, maybe, probably not, if you'd like, no, always, you should, not likely, no."
Yes, they will marry, eventually she thinks, hopes. Maybe it will be here, she doesn't think it's likely they'll go anywhere else and she's grown fond of this place. She respects Mon Mothma, but she feels no particular ties to her involvement. General Draven can suck her dick, but she knows he means a lot to Cassian and she will not make that decision for him. Fuck the beach. They will always be a unit, a team, partners. She thinks Cassian deserves a promotion, though she likely won't stop calling him Captain. The rebellion is important to her but she doesn't feel like she needs to have rank to have a stake in the fight.
No, she doesn't think they'll both leave, they've lost too much already.
Her head tips back to look at him. "Did I get them all?"
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"I don't think I want a promotion but I also don't think I have a lot of say in the matter. You won't join?" He's curious about that, a little. "But you'll fight. That I knew." He smiles at her.
"You got them all. Do you want to get married here?"
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As for the rebellion. "I don't trust things. I believe in the rebellion, but I don't believe in the Alliance and I can't be part of some of the things they do." Some of the things they made him do, tried to make him do. "I'll fight," she agrees, and she will follow him anywhere. But she won't be a passive member of someone else's resistance.
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"Okay." He wonders what that means for him. For this promotion they keep pushing at him.
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Which is perhaps odd considering what his job used to be, but she remembers why all those men teamed up with the rest of their ragtag crew and she doesn't want that to get lost. They deserve to fight for themselves as much as they fight for the rebellion.
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She slips forward so she can twist around in the bath and kneel in front of him. "Me and Bodhi." Perhaps not the best topic to bring up, their dead friend, especially considering their current and very naked position. But in for a penny, in for a pound. "Be brave and listen to your heart."
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Her courage is in people, that makes sense to her.
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"Alright."
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"This is more difficult that I'd thought." But she is happy in his arms and she is willing to rise to the challenge, if only to keep herself warm in his arms.
At least until the water runs cold, but they have plenty of time until that happens.